israel’s Blog

october, is really not my month. a friend of mine once said that this month sure really hates me. Well for my case, that is so true. I’m not blaming whats happening right now cause of the month, maybe i really did messed up and for that reason i lost someone whose very important to me. She changed or did i change? i really don’t know what happened, but i really miss her company, sometimes i find myself making a text message to tell what happened to me but when i try to send it  i just press cancel. its been a habit of mine to text her, whether its good or bad, shes the first person whom i confide to. i do like the idea that outside my social group there is someone whom i can call my confidante. i do like her, not because shes pretty, not because everybody wants her, i like her because of the way she listens to my story, the way she reminds me how fragile my body is, the way she keeps me company even though i don’t have time even for myself. She asked me if giving her flowers is a sign that  i want her, i said no. i lied to myself in that point of time. i do want her, but it doesnt mean i gave her flowers cause i want to court her, its simply means that i appreciate her. second anger was in control of me by that time, Stupid is the right word to describe me. it feels like everytime i see her, im looking into a stranger,. i miss her i really do.